alwaysdreamer

Now my year as an au pair is coming to an end. I've worked my last day and am now heading toward California. But first: all those goodbyes. I went to Boston for the last time today. And I had to say goodbye to my friends Karin and Frida. It's so hard, I already miss them. And tonight my family is throwing a goodbye party for me, I'm gonna cry so much. I can't believe I'm gonna leave my home and my family. Cause that's what it feels like. But right now I'm gonna think about tomorrow. Ida and I are going to LA where we're gonna stay a week and then go on our suntrek tour and after that explore San Francisco for a couple of days. Caaaaaalifornia <3

One week from today I'll be working my last day here in Massachusetts. It's unbelievable how fast this year went by. But still, it feels like I did a lot this year. I packed one of my suitcases the other day, and all of a sudden I started sobbing like crazy. I'm gonna miss Massachusetts so much! Especially Boston. In about 4 weeks I'll be standing at the airport in Sweden once again with my large packing looking for familiar faces.

But where is home? I've been asking myself that question a lot lately. When I think about Sweden I don't really think "ah, home"... This is my home now. That's why I've been avoiding saying I'm going home, I'm going back to Sweden. That feels so much more appropriate right now. I've always found it easy to feel at home, no matter where I am in the world. Even when I'm out travelling or on vacation, I call the hotel home. I guess home to me is where my heart is at the moment. So the question is, will my heart come with me, or will it stay here?

The US was the country where I...
...learned how to drive automatic cars
...became a family member of my american family
...carved my first, relatively, pretty pumpkin
...celebrated my first Thanksgiving
...found many of my best friends
...started dreaming in english
...went shopping on a daily basis (almost ;)
...saw the ball drop at Times Square, NYC with Ida.
...went ice skating the american way with Anna
...watched more movies than I've done in 3 years
...started working out at the gym and then stopped
...gained 10 kg just by looking at american food
...went to 8 concerts
...studied at Harvard
...started indoor rockclimbing
...saw my first Brodway musical, Hairspray
...flew to LA all by myself in the middle of the night
...fell in love with California
...made my dream of going to LA reality with Martina
...scrapbooked until my eyes went red
...went to a real american ball with Anna, Kristin and Fanny
...became addicted to my laptop (yea, and facebook and all of that...)
...went to Graceland with Ida
...celebrated 4th of July under the Boston fireworks
...got my baby (my red iPod...)
...went hiking and camping with Martina and Malin
...went to my first Red Sox game with Martina and became a true fan
...discovered Canada and the Niagara Falls with Martina
...swam with dolphins
...worked up to 55 hours/week
...went on many roadtrips
...got hooked on karaoke
...bought my first acoustic guitar
...visited 15 states (16, if I count Illionois where I'm switching planes)
...and felt at home.

It's not gonna be easy saying goodbye to all of this, that's for sure. But I try to keep in mind I'll be back next fall. Still, the life I had during this year is never coming back. This has been the best experience in my whole life and I would never regret going. I've learned so much about this country and culture, and even about myself. I've found out what's really important in life and that you can do practically anything you want. So if I ask myself now, 8 years after I first decided to go to the U.S as an au pair, was it worth it? Oh yea, definitely!

I think I finally found THE guitar. Taylor 214ce. I've been wanting a Taylor guitar for over a year now, ever since I played one for the first time. They say that once you've played a Taylor, you'll never wanna play something else. I guess that's true.

This weekend Anna and I went to the Guitar Center in Natick to jam a little bit. It was hilarious! We probably played the pianos for about an hour. Well, we talked to a funny man too. He told us he'd been to Sweden many many times, and Norway and Finland. And when he started talking and naming swedish cities there was no end to it. Haha... that was a funny dude. Later we moved on to the guitar room. That's where I found my baby. Never in my life have I heard such a beatiful sound coming out of a wooden box. Omg, I was in love. So I reserved it, and payed a $250 deposit and went home to think about it. And of course I got second thoughts about it. I mean, it's a lot of money, the total cost is $1040. BUT in Sweden it's twice as much, so that made me feel a little bit better. Yesterday I went to another music store to play other guitars, but I guess they really are right about the Taylor guitars, I only found a nice Yamaha, so I'm thinking about that one. But I think I already know which one it's gonna be.